


Red-40

by cms52990



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Getting Together, Lardo is a queen, M/M, and Shitty is her jester, emotional pie cleanup, mentions of 3.11, post-3.9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 17:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8170615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cms52990/pseuds/cms52990
Summary: In the aftermath of Bitty's dropped pie, Shitty and Lardo manage cleanup.





	

It’s because of pie, ultimately, but that’s not unusual.In the SMH Haus, more things happen because of pie than because of literally anything else, which is a statistical anomaly that’s been known to give Holster headaches late into the night. 

At any rate - 

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

Shitty is on his hands and knees, a wad of paper towels in one hand and a smear of cherry filling on his temple.Every time he moves, there’s a faint sucking sound as some part of his body unsticks itself from the floor.The palms of his hands have been dyed a light pink.

“What the fuck did he put in this?” he demands, scrubbing at the stubborn streak of spilled pie filling with the disintegrating mess of paper towels.“If I didn’t value my life or, like, my damn testicles, I’d suggest - “

“Bro.If you even _mention_ Red-40, you _know_ you won’t get any pie for the rest of your breathing days.”

Lardo has taken refuge on the counter, perched criss-cross-applesauce with her feet out of the splash zone.It’s slightly mesmerizing, she reflects, to watch Shitty’s attempts to mop up Bitty’s spill - or maybe that’s the tail-end of the joint she and Shitty had shared when he’d first arrived.Most of the haze had disappeared at the sound of the crash in the kitchen, and the rest had evaporated at the sight of Bitty’s face as he’d pushed past them and fled up the stairs - but therewas still enough left over to make the sight of Shitty’s swaying backside as he rhythmically scrubbed at the floor… interesting.

Or maybe that was just how it had always been.

Lardo sighs, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. 

“He’s dropped things before,” Shitty says, and even with her eyes closed, Lardo can see the worried look on his face.She looks at him - sitting back on his heels, with his sleeves pushed up to the elbows.He’d lost that dumb-ass elbow-patches jacket somewhere around the time she’d been filling a bowl with soap and water - somewhere around the time he’d been asking Nursey to take a hike for the evening - somewhere around the time Bitty had been barricading himself in his bedroom for the billion-zillionth time that semester.  

“Pies and shit,” he says, and the expression on his face is imploring.“It’s happened before.It doesn’t mean - fuck, I dunno.”The next words escape him in a breath.“D’you think they’re… breaking up?”

Lardo bites her lip.“Are we talking about this?”

“How can we not?”

“‘Cuz maybe it’s not any of our business.”

“It was plenty of your business when you put twenty bucks down on Fall Semester.”

Lardo’s head bangs back against the cabinet.“I shouldn’t have done that.Maybe.”

“Maybe.” 

“But we all did.”

“I _know_.”Shitty pushes to his feet, leaning against the counter next to her. 

Silence stretches between them for a long moment, laced with everything they’ve always been too afraid to say.Lardo has lived through almost four years of these silences, and they’ve never gotten easier to handle - too fraught, too thick, too - too - 

She runs out of words here, in her own brain - but then, words were never her forte.Better to fall back on images and feelings and colors.These silences with Shitty are gaping holes punched in reality and a sick, twisted feeling in her stomach.The color puke-green. 

“They’re not breaking up,” she says, and her voice is tighter than she’d anticipated. 

“For sure?” Shitty asks, hopeful.

“For probs,” she replies.“You know Jack - he’s an all-or-nothing dude.I don’t think he’d ever go ‘nothing’ on Bitty.”

“Yeah,” he says, but he doesn’t sound convinced.“I guess it can’t be easy not, y’know.Being together.”

She doesn’t say anything to that, because for all his idiocy, she knows he’s not stupid. 

“Lards,” he says, and his eyes are still on the smear of red on the floor.“It’s raining.”

Maybe she was wrong about his stupidity.“Uh - yeah?”

“So, like.Driving.”

Elements of his drift are starting to become clear.“Yeah?”

“Is dangerous.”

“Shits, are you asking to crash here tonight?”

“I’m asking - yeah, yes, I’m asking - “

“Great.Couch is free.”

He turns to her, then, borderline-indignant, frustration turning to confusion when he spies the smirk on her face.“What - ?”

She doesn’t give him time for another word before she kisses him.

He feels soft and solid at the same time.Then he wraps his arms around her and he feels like - not a fortress, because she’s not some damsel to be protected and rescued (and maybe she thinks that in Shitty’s voice) but like… scaffolding.Like a support structure.He tastes like smoke and comfort and familiarity and _finally_ taking chances and…

Lardo pulls back.“When did you have cherry pie?”

It tickles her to know that Shitty’s flush is probably not from her sudden interrogation.“Huh?”

“Pie, bro.Cherry pie.”She squints at him.“Did you eat some of the stuff off the floor?”

A beat of awkward silence - Shitty shifts in place, and Lardo is acutely aware that his big hands have somehow made their way to her legs, his thumbs rubbing against her thighs.“It’s what Bitty would have wanted!” he finally exclaims, the words busting out of him like the pitiful excuse they are.

“That is _rank_ , man,” Lardo crows. 

“Fuckin’ - c’mon Lards - “

“You’re _so_ gross.”

He sniffs, like a proper lady, which just makes her laugh harder.“If you’re gonna just sit there laughing at me,” he says, “I am going to finish cleaning up the floor.”He bends down again to pick up the matted wad of paper towels, and Lardo’s eyes are again drawn to - 

She hops off the counter.“Leave it.”

“It’ll stain.”

“Then it stains.This is a frat house.”She holds her hand out to him.“Leave it.”

Almost powerlessly, he takes her hand, wrapping his long fingers around her palm.“I can sleep on the couch,” he protests weakly, but she’s already drawing him towards the stairs. 

“Shits,” she tells him, “don’t be a fucking moron.”

**Author's Note:**

> First "Check Please" fic! I am in love with this fandom, and also all of you.
> 
> Tumblr [here](http://mo1st-von-lipwig.tumblr.com/)


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